top of page

Letters to the Editor

Thanks for submitting!

Conservative Party votes to become the NDP

"Finally, an excuse to wear a dastār."

OTTAWA -- Following a three-day virtual party convention where a vote by party delegates took a surprising turn that have many questioning whether the party is serious about forming government, Conservative Leader Erin O'Toole held a press conference to announce he is rebranding the Conservative Party of Canada as the New Democratic Party.

"This was clearly a vote I wanted to go the other way. I wanted to rebrand the CPC as its own ready-to-lead party that had sane, modern ideas," O'Toole told reporters.

"But who could have foreseen that making my base out of Canada's most socially conservative and conspiratorial-minded people could have draw-backs?"

Some long-time CPC members have stated this vote did not actually represent the will of the majority of the party and that they are concerned that being another NDP is not a good strategy for winning elections.

"I can't be an NDP member! I run a business and the CPC is the only party that doesn't want to take all my money and spend it on work-from-home chairs for public-sector underwater basket weavers," Reggie Myers, owner of a sporting goods store and longtime CPC member told our reporter.

"Plus, I'm too old to wear orange without looking ridiculous and smoking pot now gives me the spins."

Some of the Conservative delegates from the convention are defending the controversial vote.

"We respect the NDP so we thought "why not us?" They have real principles and they are willing to stick by them no matter how much it makes actually implementing those principles impossible," stated Karen Kenney, a delegate from Stavely, Alberta.

"It takes real character to consistently choose to stay irrelevant by engaging in non-stop alienating purity tests."

When asked if he was concerned that the Liberals seemed determined to trigger an election, O'Toole replied, "Ha, why would I be? Honestly, this job is way less stressful when winning is off the table."


bottom of page